Loose Ends…Confessions Of An Unfinished Faith
I’ll start my first ever column at CCM with a blatant confession.
When CCM approached me and asked if I would be interested in contributing to a monthly column (this is the first one, if you’re still reading), my initial reaction was a mix of shock, flattery and “who me?” Followed quickly by pure panic about any relevance and content I could offer the readers of a magazine I have deeply respected for a long time. Then came the tricky business of what I would actually call the column. Naturally, I picked up my latest copy of Oprah’s magazine for ideas. (Quit rolling your eyes, it hurts).
I remembered that on the last page of each magazine, Oprah writes a brief column entitled “What I Know For Sure.” It’s a place for her to say something inspirational about whatever theme the magazine has embraced that issue…a parting thought. I’ve always thought this was a rather overly confident title for a column. What I know for sure? Please. For me, it would be a very, very short piece.
What I know for sure…
That’s about it, really.
But in thinking about all the things Oprah knows for sure, and all the things I don’t, I did begin to ruminate a bit on the topic of confidence. Confidence in general, at first, and then confidence as it relates to my faith and artistry. Tricky topic.
The culture of Christianity isn’t sure what do with a confident Christian. We are far more comfortable with what I like to call the ‘Aw Shucks Christian.’ Hesitant to receive encouragement, lest it be construed as misguided praise. Routinely suppressing God-given leadership abilities, because, after all, no one associates leaders with humility. Scooting and shifting around on the fence when any number of gray and messy faith topics arise at Wednesday night small group because it will always be far easier to tow the party line than to raise a differing point of view that might actually foster healthy discussion. The ‘Aw Shucks Christian’ nods and smiles and spends a great deal of time shuffling feet and staring at the ground during important moments that are begging for conviction and courageous assertion. The perception of humility is paramount for this person.
How do I know this particular breed of Christian so well? Takes one to know one. I have been awkwardly tripping through the false humility dance one left foot at a time since I signed my first autograph eight years ago.
So this is what I sorta kinda maybe think I know for sure…
Humility in Christ is inseparably linked to confidence in Christ.
Thomas Merton, a beloved Franciscan monk, once wrote that “A humble man is not disturbed by praise. Since he is no longer concerned with himself, and since he knows where the good that is in him comes from, he does not refuse praise, because it belongs to the God he loves, and in receiving it he keeps nothing for himself but gives it all, with great joy, to his God.”
I love that. Permission from a monk to receive praise with confidence, fully understanding its origin and ultimate address.
He goes on to say, “The humble man receives praise the way a clean window takes the light of the sun. The truer and more intense the light is, the less you see of the glass.”
A friend of mine, who happens to be an insanely talented drummer, said once that the way you can identify a great drummer is by his ability to keep a very steady and strictly simple rhythm. In many African tribes, he said, the most respected and revered members are the elders who sit around the fire and keep a simple, confident and extremely sparse beat. The younger, less experienced tribesmen are the ones showing off their fancy chops.
Confidence.
This is what I desire my life in Christ to reflect. The steady beat. The underlying current of consistent and grounded faith…a secure knowledge of who I am in Him without the chronic apologies for the gifts He entrusted me with. I want to be the elder tribesman…a still river whose depths are known by few, but felt my many.
That is, in fact, one thing I know for sure.
(shuffle, shuffle)
I dig Oprah.
I know in some Christian circles people can get a bit anxious about her rather vague spiritual status…but honestly, she just seems like a pretty super person to me. And, since Oprah has never claimed to be a spiritual guide or theologian, she is not the place I go for Biblical teaching any more than I go to Condoleezza Rice or Mr. Rogers. So, I feel okay about admiring her contributions to the culture of stay at home moms... Besides, she has great taste in candles and shoes and she gives away more money to people in desperate need than most mega churches I’ve ever been to… so yeah…I unapologetically dig her.
Jesus really does love me.
Quick drying nail polish, never ever does.
The word “moist” should be never be spoken aloud…or even typed.
And you should never drink Diet Coke right before you sing.
That’s what I know for sure.
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